Finding Peace Amid the Season's Cheer: Navigating Grief During the Holidays

Holidays are often a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration but can be hard when you're grieving the loss of a loved one. Missing your loved one during the season that focuses on family, tradition, and connection can intensify feelings of loneliness, sadness, and anger. The world around you may seem to be festive, but for those experiencing loss, it can feel as though the holidays only amplify the grief.

If you're struggling with the loss of a loved one this holiday season, know that you're not alone. Grief is a personal journey. It can help to acknowledge your feelings and find ways to navigate this difficult time. Here are some strategies to help you cope with loss during the holidays:

1. Acknowledge Your Grief and Bring It to God

It’s okay to not feel "festive" or "joyful" during this time. Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. It's important to give yourself permission to feel whatever emotions arise. Bring your pain, sadness, and questions to God. Whether through prayer, journaling, or quiet reflection, allow yourself to be open and honest with Him. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Trust that God is with you in your grief, ready to comfort and guide you through it.

2. Create New Traditions

The traditions you once shared with your loved one may now feel painful, but that doesn’t mean the holidays have to be empty of meaning. Consider creating new rituals that honor the memory of your loved one while giving you a chance to embrace the season in a way that feels right for you. Try something simple like lighting a candle in their memory or doing something they loved (ex. volunteering , their favorite breakfast, or watching a movie you always enjoyed together). New traditions allow you to find comfort in the familiar, while also giving yourself permission to grow and change as you heal.

3. Lean on Your Support System

It can be tempting to isolate yourself when you're grieving, but it’s essential to lean on those who care about you. Share your feelings with trusted friends or family members. Even if it's just to let them know that you're struggling, share it. Let them know what kind of support you need (someone to talk to, help with holiday preparations, a quiet presence, etc.). Sometimes, just being around others can provide a sense of comfort and remind you that you're not alone.

4. Set Boundaries

The holiday season often comes with pressure to take part in events, parties, or family gatherings, but if you're not ready, it's okay to say no. It’s important to set boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. You don’t have to explain your decision or make excuses—simply prioritize your own needs. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to step back, rest, and recharge. Jesus Himself offers us rest, as found in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Embrace moments of solitude, quiet prayer, and peace as part of your healing process. Surround yourself with people and activities that make you feel safe and supported. Give yourself permission and grace to not feel guilty for taking time for yourself.

5. Allow Yourself to Laugh

Grief can often feel heavy, and it’s easy to feel guilty if you experience moments of joy or laughter. However, laughter and joy are not betrayals of your loved one; they are a natural part of healing. Allow yourself to experience happiness in small ways like watching a favorite holiday movie, enjoying a cozy cup of tea, or spending time with others. Embracing these moments doesn’t diminish the love you have for the person you’ve lost, but it can help you feel grounded during a challenging time.

6. Take Care of Yourself

Grieving is physically and emotionally exhausting. It’s important to focus on self-care during the holidays. Try to maintain healthy habits like eating well, getting enough rest, and moving your body in ways that feel good to you. Small acts of self-compassion such as taking a warm bath, reading a book, or stepping outside for a walk, can help nurture your mind and body during this difficult time.

7. Don’t Rush Your Grief

Grief doesn’t follow a calendar. It’s a personal and ongoing process that doesn’t have a defined end date. While the holidays may feel particularly difficult now, it’s important to remember that you will eventually find ways to move forward, even if it’s in small steps. There’s no "right" way to grieve, and there’s no set timeline for how long it should take. Honor your pace, and know that healing is not linear—some days will be better than others, and that’s okay.

8. Seek Professional Support

If the weight of grief becomes too much to bear, or if you find that it is interfering with your daily life, seeking professional help can make a world of difference. Sometimes talking with someone trained can give you the tools to navigate the challenges of your loss and figure out how to move forward. Don’t hesitate to reach out for support when you need it—it’s a brave step toward healing.

Conclusion

Holidays will never be the same without your loved one but it’s important to remember that grief doesn’t mean you have to give up on the season. By acknowledging your feelings, creating new traditions, and leaning on those who care, you can navigate this difficult time in a way that honors both your loss and your healing journey. Grief is a testament to the love you shared, and while it may feel overwhelming now, it can also evolve into a deeper understanding of your resilience and strength. Allow yourself the grace to heal, and know that the love you feel for your loved one will remain with you, even during the most challenging of holidays.